Tuesday, August 27, 2013

What is Love?? Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me... What is love????


love

  [luhv] noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. (Dictionary.com)
noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.
sexual passion or desire.
4.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie,love?

What is love? Does it really exist? Do second chances really happen?? These are questions I have been pondering all week. This week all I've wanted to do is just end it all..put things in place for my girls - go the the Katy Trail where it's beautiful and serene and just end it all. Escape from reality...escape from the pain, the hopelessness, the depression, the anxiety, the constant mocking, and the constant misery. But then my 4 year old and 9 month old came to me and that all changed and I realized love does exist..love is real...it just wasn't in the form that I expected. 
When I look at my girls I see unconditional love - no matter how angry I get or how many times they irritate me and no matter what I do they still love me - they still come running..or crawling...to me when they get a "boo boo" or as my daughter says " they hurt my heart". They love me for me...not for my money - that amazingly enough doesn't exist... - not for my career.... not for anything else but for me. And that to me is the most genuine love a person can have. 
It may have taken me a while to realize this - but I now got it - something my soon to be ex doesn't understand -  I am happy...VERY happy...being alone... you don't need someone - and you can't properly love someone - until you love yourself - until you are happy with yourself... until you are healed... none of which I have accomplished - so until then I will keep loving my babies and learn to love myself as they love me - unconditonally. 

" Thanks to you I got a new thing started, Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted, THANKS TO YOU I'M FINALLY THINKING ABOUT ME,  You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning...." - Kelly Clarkson - Stronger 

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